>Some examples of why the human race has
>probably evolved as far as possible. These are
>actual instruction labels on consumer goods...
>
>
>On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
>(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my
>hair!)
>
>
>On a bag of Fritos:You could be a winner! No
>purchase necessary. Details inside.
>(The shoplifter special!)
>
>
>On a bar of Dial soap:
>Directions: Use like regular soap.
>(and that would be how?)
>
>
>On some Swann frozen dinners:
>Serving suggestion: Defrost.
>(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)
>
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom
>of the box)
>Do not turn upside down.
>(Too late! you lose!)
>
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
>Product will be hot after heating.
>(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)
>
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
>Do not iron clothes on body.
>(But wouldn't that save more time?)(Whose body?)
>
>
>On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
>Do not drive car or operate machinery.
>(We could do a lot to reduce the construction
>accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off
>those fork lifts.)
>
>
>On Nytol sleep aid:
>Warning: may cause drowsiness.
>(One would hope!)
>
>
>On a Korean kitchen knife:
>Warning: keep out of children.
>(hmm...something must have gotten lost in the
>translation...)
>
>
>On a string of Christmas lights:For indoor or outdoor use only.
>(As opposed to use in outer space.)
>
>
>On a food processor:
>Not to be used for the other use.
>(Now I'm curious.)
>
>
>On Sainsbury's peanuts:
>Warning: contains nuts.
>(but no peas?)
>
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
>Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
>(somebody got paid big bucks to write this
>one...)
>On a Swedish chainsaw:
>Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
>(Raise your hand if you've tried this...)
>
>On a child's Superman costume:
>Wearing of this garment does not enable you to
>fly.
>(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal
>childhood belief.)
>On a piece of paper inside a box of computer hardware:
>Allow box to cool to room temperature before opening to prevent internal
>damage.
>(So now you tell me?)
>
>Rome didn't conquer the world by holding meetings... they did it by killing
>all who stood in their way.
>
>Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the tube?
>
>
>If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
>
>
>I'm not stupid, I just act that way.
>
>
>Before you criticize someone you should walk a mile in their shoes. That
>way
> when you criticize them, you're a mile away and have their shoes.
>
>Find a penny, pick it up then all day you'll have...a penny.
>
>
>You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you're all the same.
>
>
>I'm not a tease, I'm just a reminder of what you can't have.
>
>I get plenty of exercise: jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and
>dodging deadlines.
>
>Silence is golden... but yelling is fun!
>
>Forgive your enemies, nothing annoys them more!
>
>Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who thinks they know what
>they are talking about.
>
>Have you ever wondered why just one letter makes all the difference between
>here and there?
>
>I always wanted to be a procrastinator, but I never got around to it.
>
>A zebra is really a horse with it?s own barcode.
>
>If at first you don?t succeed, deny you were even trying.
>If at first you do succeed, don?t look too surprised.
>You?re unique, but so is everyone else.

Some brands of toothpick have instructions on the box.

Have a look in the supermarket next time if you don't believe me.


Mick

Toothpicks with instructions. now that is something you dont see every day. That is hilarious.

Hey I didn't believe it!

I first read of such a thing in "So Long And Thanks For All The Fish" - book 4 of the Hitch-Hikers trilogy by Douglas Adams.

Then I went and looked, and lo!


Mick

Next time i go to the shops I am gonna look at that and see.

On the peanuts we bought at Christmas it said 'small children can choke on peanuts'..... I thought it was a serving suggestion!!!!

Nigel