Hi Folks,
Being as we have a number of members who are actively involved in the Food Trade, this has got me thinking as to whether there is a definite link here ..... And if so, should we set about rediscovering those lost-lost katas ...... Bassai Pie anyone?

*Thinks of good bassai Pie "Recipe".....*

Well Sishoshin does sound like 'sausage sizzle' when you've had a few bourbons

I've just created my first Kulinary Kata....

Step 1. Stand in Kiba Dachi. Use modified downward block to open cutlery drawer.

Step 2. Select desired Instrument, in this case - Steak tenderiser, otherwise known as a Saturday Nite Special or alternatively - the Wombat Whacker.

Step 3. Retrieve Instrument from drawer and proceed to the work surface using a combination of Tai Subacki and a certain move known as the "James Brown Shuffle"

Step 4. Address the Steak with Instrument held in right hand. Iaido techniques useful here.

Step 5. Beat the Meat mercilessly. This is under no circumstances to be confused with select other nefarious activities, that fall under the common umberella. If said confusion does occur, Medical ( and most probably Psychological) advice should be sought straight away.

Step 6. Operate grilling device. I use a product endorsed by an ex-Boxer (Who should know what he`s on about) but your average everyday cooker grill should suffice. If you don't have a cooker or aforementioned grilly thing, PM me - I can get you one, hardly damaged cost price plus commision, velly cheap, oh yes.

Step 7. Place Steak under grille, ensuring required temperature has been reached. This can be achieved by placing a body part onto the heat source, If pain is felt, then the temperature is OK.

Step 8. Open beverage of choice (seperate kata required for this)

Step 9. Prepare supplementary dish. This will normally be salad and jacket potatoes, or for the more nutritionally inclined amongst us - two pieces of white bread and a bottle of tomato ketchup. open Window to clear kitchen of smoke, again using tai sabacki. Drink beverage, refill glass.

Step 10. Remove blackened steak from Grilling device, insert betwixt bread, declare to Partner/Loved one/Family Pet/Poster of Kylie etc that "Gordon Ramseys got nothin` on me!"

Step 11. Eat Steak Sandwich, This should only taste of the finest Australian Charcoal IF the cooking procedures have been followed to the letter.

Step 12. Return remnents of meal to the work surface ( or to Family Pet if feeling generous )

Am considering widening the kata to include other domestic chores - whaddya think??

Do you remember Eddie Mercury in Queen's video "I want to be free"?

I have visions of some 6ft+, 200lb guy in a gi pushing a vacuum!