i was at training last night and i got really annoyed with the student standing just to my right (1 grade higher than me) who kept looking at my basics all night.
every time i made one little mistake she tried to correct me.
most of the time i dont mind taking suggestions on corrcting my karate even if its from a yellow or white belt, but she does this to me all the time.

how can i stop her from doing this???
im the only orange belt in the class and she INSISTS on standing next to me so she can "help me".

It may depend on whether this other student is helping because they are trying to be helpful, or helping for their own self-importance. It's all about attitude in other words.

I would suggest that you speak with your sensei. They can tell the whole class to just worry about their own training and not anyone else. They can also then if necessary speak to the individual separately.


Mick

yes...
i agree...
definately speak to your sensei about her. if she is constantly correcting you it can put you off or restrict your improvement, (especially if she gives you a low self esteem).

the issue can be tough, especially if she is a friend and is only trying to help you. but if you keep getting annoyed by her helpfulness it could put you off training all together...

Thanks Mick

i have thought about speaking to my sensei, but i recently found out that she's his daughter. touchy subject...

its not going to force me to quit because i have a few dojos that are close to me and if it becomes too much of a problem i can just switch dojos (though i dont like to run away from my problems)

i guess this is a matter of wait and see.

Ah a tricky problem. You may have to wait until you know for sure how the sensei treats his daughter - ie as someone special "she's just trying to help" or whether he is harder on her than other students.

For my part, I will come down on anyone who stops their own training to help or interfere with the person next to them. If I wanted them to help others, I would tell them so. Otherwise it's a case of leave-them-alone.

Some people, and it sounds like you are similar, would rather watch, copy and try and if you need any help would ask for it otherwise someone else "interfering" just puts you off.

But that's the way I run a class, and everyone is different I guess. Also I have other senseis who either help or train with me in all my classes which provides another avenue for people who don't want to come to me directly for whatever reason.

For example, I recently spoke to one of my senior students about how I wanted them to treat the newer people in sparring because I heard of a gripe through one of the other senseis in the class. They told the complaining student to come to me but I had already found out about it by the time they did - which made them doubly happy that I was already on it.


Mick

dont be put off by the "daughter factor". My wife trains in my class, but I doubt many know that. I intentionally have little to do with her gradings, and if anything have a higher level of expectation for her than for others (sorry Yol ). Regardless, your instructor may be unaware of the problem and I'm sure will have the professionalism to deal with the situation. Remember - you are supposed to enjoy your training - yes

I have been thinking a bit about this.

If the problem is still persisting then maybe you should speak to the sensei anyway.

If they accept it as they would for any other student, then the problem should be resolved. If the problem continues regardless, then you can change classes having made the effort to resolve things.

If they treat it as "they-are-just-trying-to-help-and-who-are-you-to-complain-about-my-family" then you can change classes, still having made the effort to resolve things.

Many of the senseis will be harder on their kids (maybe not their partners cos of the potential payback outside class ) to avoid even the appearance of favouritism.

The choice is still yours, you can stay in karate and put up with it if it is still going on, you can stay in karate but go to a different class, or you can quit.

But you can't quit! OK? That's not an option!


Mick

Hey Mick.

Thank you for your last piece of advice.

I've taken a few classes off because the stress was just getting a little too much for me.

I'll see how things go in my next class and take your advice.
If things don't start to improve I'll head down to another class.

There is a great class over at Maddington on a Thursday night (shameless plug). :thumbwink:


Mick

Thanks again to you all.

I took your advice, but rather than speaking to my Sensei about her I spoke to her during the break so she wouldn't get in trouble or embarrassed.

She wasn't aware that she was even doing it.

The second half of my class was much more pleasant as she stopped correcting me. B)

Good on you, agent99. I hope that means now that you will be enjoying your training more and not have to worry about what might happen during class - ie being interrupted and corrected.

If we look back through the posts on this topic it is interesting that nobody suggested (unless I missed it) that you speak to the person concerned, but we all said you should go to the sensei first.

On the other hand when I have a student come to me with a complaint about another student, I ask them if they have spoken to the other about it. If not and they just wanted to mention it in case this student was doing the same thing to others then when I spoke to them I wouldn't tell them that it had been a complaint (if it was the first time), but just that "I have noticed that you... ...don't worry about it, they'll get it in time... ...they might get upset even though you're just trying to help" kind of thing.

Happy training

Mick

That's a good idea Mick.

You sound as though you really care about all of your students.
Your dojo is a little bit too far from where i live, otherwise I might have come down to a class or two.

Maybe one day in the future.