Well Guys, Us Poms beat you good and square today! Was a damn good game though.......
But Bangladesh yesterday? What happened??

I have only one comment to make: hahahahahahahahaha!

And so begins a whole week of Aussie Baiting - that most noble of all British sports.

(The down side is if and when we start to lose we will get it back in spades).

As we won however,

God save YOUR gracious Queen,
Long live YOUR noble Queen,
God save YOUR Queen!
Send her victorious,
Happy and glorious,
Long to reign over us;
God save YOUR Queen!

Happy days, Bring on the Ashes

ARe the odds good enough yet?

Bookmarks thread for future reference

We are just warming into the games to come.

Don't want to peak too early!

I mean we lost the 20Twenty by a load, lost to Bangles by 5-wickets, to the Old Dart by 3-wickets (and KP saved your bacon too!). So with another loss next game, we should start winning some after that.

Our top-order batters haven't given us anything like a good start yet, the bowlers have the yorkers coming out as half-volleys rather than low full-tosses, and how can we even think about using Michael Clarke, Mike Hussey and the rest as 5th bowlers?!?!

And what is it with the walking ODI liability Kasprowicz???? Someone needs to tap a selector on the shoulder, then hit them in the face with a brick tied around a note. The note would say "Drop Kaspa - this isn't India!"

The day we beat the aussies....it rained enough to flood my back garden and create an impromtu pool in the neighbours front garden/pation/thingy.

I take this as conclusive proof that the aussies bring bad weather with them.

An extension of this is that we were right to ship them off to Australia in the first place. The mistake we made was actually finding a land mass and naming it Australia instead of simply contimuing to sail sufficently away from our great isle and dump the convicts in the water.

and I MUST thank you guys for finding such a nice sunny place to send us to get us away from that rain sodden lump of mud and bunch of old farts. Cheers!

Hey! Thats my homeland you`re on about!
Right, thats it! Once we`ve finished with Afghanistan, Iraq and Wales, We`re invading!
And we`ll bring some decent breweries with us! You lot might actually have some decent beer then

Hang on a second Wombat, your forgetting we also need to re-nationalise Scotland, sort out the North Koreans and stop the Yanks invading Iran.

Also, if we were to invade Australia we would likely never get served again in our own pubs as the Aussie bar staff might take umbridge at our actions.

A more subtle and evil plan, therefore, would be to support the New Zealanders in invading the country - that would really annoy 'em

Damn you! We have enough trouble sending them home now! You've heard the saying "Australia rides on the sheep's back"? Well that's only the first half...

We could always force a NZ invasion by killing all the sheep and saying those Aussie convicts did it.

Hey!!!!! No fair!

Dont you UK-ers have the reputation for being "sheep shaggers" yourselves?

Or is that just the welsh???

Most definitly only the Welsh,

The fundamental fact you have to remember is your average englishman is really too lazy to chase sheep around. Or generally too lazy to do anything not directly related to drinking or sport.

A perfect example of this is rather than build prisons we sent our convicts to the other side of the world and forgot about them.

Another example could be we import the said criminals now to serve us our Beer whilst we watch our sport.

^ Spot on, 10000% correct.

Only change I would have made is to leave al the convicts behind and move all us pillicks of society over to oz for the better weather.

Ref today's result - OOOO0000PSSSS

Now running for cover as the retorts begin!!

It's only 1 game Fangorn.

Just like the Aus loss to Bangles was just 1 game.

Ofcourse all the journo's are now doing their fastest 180-degree turns to proclaim "situation normal" and all the rest.

If the stupid reactions weren't soooo predictable, they'd be funny!

I feel sorry for the English cricket team given the fickleness of their press. In this country that loss to Bangles was proof positive of the end of the world!

Ok, so we lost to the Aussies by 8 wickets in the NatWest Cup yesterday.........but...
Brothers! Let us not be downhearted! Bring on the The Ashes and we shall claim them as rightfully ours!

A Staunch Englishman.

Give the man a bat
(snigger)
Anon

I have one word: Bangladesh.

I have one sentence
The team that lost to the team that lost to Bangladesh

WHAT!!! Hey, thats fighting talk from where I come from!

Yeah, the place that lost to us

Well Folks, The first test against you sorry lot is on Thursday at Lords.
Predictions, Anyone?
I've actually got a small wager for you guys to win the first test........

I'm also this close to getting tickets for saturdays match at edgbaston. They belong to a friend of mine, who is currently crouched on the window ledge outside my flat, suffering from galloping vertigo, and wishing he was somewhere else............

I'd better go and check up on him.......

My son's teacher will be round there somewhere... she "has been selected to represent Australia as a member of the women's cricket team that will tour England and play in The Ashes series."

My moneys on England - our boys need a kick in the arse

On todays test at Lords.
You guys haven't lost at Lords since 1938....... And today was no exception. We had a strong start, and some fantastic bowling, but then it all went a bit pear-shaped for us.
But I`ve won £20 on my bet
Roll on tomorrow!

Rain on Day 4, lets hang on for the draw and hope there is no play until tomorrow.

Amen to that, Brother Fangorn! *crosses fingers*

Ah, music to the ears.. the whimpering cry ofthe soon to be fefeated and deflated..
Anon

[singsong]

Oh they're all very quiet over theeeeere!!

[/singsong]

Not quiet - more reflective.

All we have done is save you the embarassment of a white wash.

Bring on the second test at Edgbaston and we might even remember how to catch and bat again -

(And remember it ain't over till we are 3-0 down.)

Thankyou

I`m not going to say anything... Just go

sssshhhhhhhh..........

We wuz robbed! he done dint touch it!


Wicked game and fantastic finish, well done pommies. Dont get used to it
Bring back McGrath - quickly!

Looks like Lee may be out now with a poorly knee. The Aussies are falling apart!

Not good news at all....

What do Merv Hughes and Jason Gillespie have in common???




Both ex-fast bowlers having a holiday in England for the 2005 Ashes.

England v Australia at Old Trafford
Third npower Test Match


Close of play.


England first innings
Batsman Runs Balls 4s 6s
ME Trescothick c Gilchrist b Warne 63 117 9 -
AJ Strauss b Lee 6 28 - -
MP Vaughan c McGrath b Katich 166 216 21 1
IR Bell not out 59 146 8 -
KP Pietersen c Sub b Lee 21 28 1 -
MJ Hoggard b Lee 4 10 1 -
Extras 4b 3lb 2w 13nb 22
TOTAL: 5 wkts , 89 overs 341





Although I'll grudgingly give Mr. Warne at least 4/10 for scoring 600 in a test match. Not a bad effort at all - good on 'im

Is this written in another language?

You're all crazy

That is some seriously funky maths you've got there... I dont think 5x89 = 341, or is it 341/ 5 = 89?

Well Folks, it's getting interesting, although we've had a helping hand from the weather!

Oh Joy!! Oh deep resounding amazing joy!!!! *does happy little dance*
England are 2-1 ahead, on the close of play on the fourth test of The Ashes.
I believe I shall open a bottle or two later

And as the eternal optimists say (and not so long ago it was the Barmy Army), it ain't over yet.

It would be sad to see England playing for a draw in the 5th, and even more disappointing if Australia can't get out of their torpor.

All these things are cyclical, and Australia have been top-dogs for a long time. But atleast we wont be ruining cricket anymore!

Stoopid bloody game.

Fifth and final!
The knives are already out.

Put `em away deano - its 213-4 with two hours of play left. So, England has got a strong start...... I hope we can keep it up...

England losing to Ireland at football AND losing cricket will be too much.

(Like I'm interested in football anyway....lol)

Very true neko, very true.... And our rugger ain't been too hot since we beat a certain team either.....

( 243-4 at present time... )